Tsubaki and the eight Meisters and Weapons
by curiousivy8
Summary: Liz is failing Dr. Stein's class. In order to raise her grade, she has to read Snow white and the Seven Dwarfs to little kids. Everything is fine until Patti interrupts with her own twists and plots. The result? Tsubaki and the eight Meisters and Weapons. No pairings, rated K cuz of Patti-ness. A Liz and Patti short story.


**Hiya guys! I was in the middle of writing chapter 3 for Truth or Dare gone wrong when I got an idea. Liz and Patti don't really get a lot of there own stories here on , do they? So, I wrote a story about Liz telling a bunch of five year olds the story of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, with Patti interrupting every couple seconds. The result is Tsubaki and the eight Meisters and Weapons. Just a one chapter thing. Hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: I still sadly so not own Soul Eater, or Snow White and the seven dwarfs. D':**

Liz, who is failing 's class, is assigned a remedial lesson. However, her being a weapon and not being able to fight very well on her own, now has to read the story of Snow white and the Seven Dwarfs to a group of kindergartners. However, Patti tags along with Liz to her remedial lesson for… you know… _moral support. _

Liz sat down in a large chair in the front of the room, grabbing the big book of fairy tales she was required to read. She glanced up. There were about two dozen five year olds patiently waiting to hear the story. Liz cleared her throat. _How could reading fairy tales to kids make you so nervous?!_ The weapon panicked. Patti put her hand on her arm and grinned wickedly, which didn't help much. The girl opened the book, looking at the first story. Snow white and the seven dwarfs. No problem. Taking a deep breath, the eldest Thompson sister began,

"Once upon a time, a long time ago, there was a beautiful princess with hair as dark as night as skin as pale as snow. This girl's name was-"

"Tsubaki Nakatsukasa." Patti interrupted confidently. The young audience sat up a little straighter at this odd new development. Liz glared at her sister.

"What?" The younger of the Thompson sisters asked. "I just thought that sounded a lot like Tsubaki. Her hair is black and she's pale and she deserves to be a princess. So, I told myself, why not?" She grinned. Liz sighed, and continued.

"Alright then. The girl's name is _Tsubaki._ Anyways, Tsubaki was the princess of a large, happy kingdom, where everyone sang and danced all day."

"Apparently the townspeople had no job. And Kid calls _me_ lazy!" Patti added,

"Her father, the king, was well loved by the people. However, one day, the queen, Tsubaki's mother, died a few years after she was born. Her father soon re-married, hoping it would ease his grief. Tsubaki's new mother was also quiet beautiful, but was-"

"An evil old hag named Medusa that wore dark, flowing witch robes and liked to snap giraffe necks!" Patti cackled. Liz stared at her sister, wondering about her sanity, which had never really been too great. But the children giggled at this new personality. Shrugging, she continued.

"I was going to say vain, but that works too. Everyday, her majesty Queen Medusa looked into her magic mirror, asking it a question.

_Mirror, Mirror, on the wall,_

_Who is the fairest of them all?_

The mirror always replied that indeed the queen was the fairest. However, as Tsubaki grew older, she became even more beautiful, and soon when Queen Medusa asked her mirror who the fairest of them all was, the answer was, as the poor mirror was incapable of telling a lie, Tsubaki. The Queen was outraged, and called for a hunter to have Princess Tsubaki killed. In order to prove Tsubaki dead, she ordered him to-"

"Bring her Tsubaki's brain and all of her mushy, bloody, internal-y internal organs in a bag made out of her skin, like the Kishin! Along with Chinese take-out, because she was hungry for lunch." Patti shouted randomly. Liz gagged at her description. _What kind of person put that in_ _a kid's fairy tale? _She wondered as the kids shrieked with laughter. _Only Patti. _

"Yeah, sure. The queen said that. Anyways, the hunter was very sad, because like everyone else in the castle, he liked Tsubaki and her kind ways. But he had to obey the queen, so he led the girl deep into the forest and drew his knife.

'Please!' Tsubaki cried. 'Spare my life. You can leave me here and I won't go back to castle. I promise!' The hunter gladly agreed. On the way back to the castle, he killed a deer, skinning it and putting the organs inside the homemade bag. This way, the queen wouldn't know what truly happened in the woods. Poor Tsubaki wandered through the woods, eating berries and drinking from the stream. Just as the sun was about to set, the tired princess stumbled upon a-"

"Huge mansion with fountains and gardens and a swimming pool the size of a parking lot!" Patti stated. _Where does she come up with this stuff? _Liz wondered along with every Soul Eater fan to have heard Patti speak.

"In the middle of the woods?"

"Yep."

"Alright then. Tsubaki stumbled upon a huge mansion with fountains and gardens and a swimming pool the size of a parking lot. The girl went inside, and upon finding a room with seven beds, fell asleep instantly, as she was tired from wandering about the forest. Little did she know, the house was home to seven-"

"_Eight _midget Meisters and weapons." Patti said. "There was Bashful, who was a knife weapon, his Meister was Dopey. Then Sneezy, who was an axe, his Meister was Grumpy. Doc, a Katana, was a weapon for Sleepy. Oh, and Happy! He was a scythe who's Meister was Maka Albarn." Patti smiled proudly at her new plot twist.

"No! They were dwarfs, not Weapons and Meisters! And what's Maka doing in the story? We already have Tsubaki as the main character!" Liz said, now getting irritated. Why wouldn't Patti be quiet so she could finish this stupid remedial lesson?

"Well, Maka is a scythe Meister." The blonde explained.

"Yeah, for Soul Eater, not some dwarf in a fairy tale!" Liz took a deep breath. "Never mind, back to the story….

The house belonged to eight famous Weapons and Meisters. All day they went out on missions fighting monsters. When they returned home that evening, they were amazed to see that someone had been in their mansion, as they had a… very advanced security system. Going into their room, they discovered Tsubaki laying in one of the beds. The eight Weapons and Meisters gathered around her, wondering who she was and what she was doing there. Tsubaki woke up, finding herself surrounded by Doc, Sneezy, Grumpy, Bashful, Dopey, Happy, Sleepy, and Maka.

'Oh my. I'm so sorry!' Tsubaki exclaimed. She stumbled over her words as she explained who she was, and why she was there."

"Or…" Patti said. "They could have an epic battle to the death where all the weapons transform and Tsubaki has to use her assassin skills to fight and whip her way around the room, ending with the ninja-princess Tsubaki the winner."

"No."

"Ok then. It was just an idea."

"'The queen hates me, and she ordered to have me killed! Please, don't send me away!' The princess pleaded. Grumpy frowned, not convinced. But Doc spoke first.

'We hate Queen Medusa and her wicked ways.' He said. 'Any enemy of hers is a friend to us. You can stay as long as you'd like.' Tsubaki smiled widely.

'Oh do you really mean it?' She asked. 'Thank you so much! I'll help you cook and clean as a thank you.' The Weapons and Meisters agreed to the deal. Tsubaki jumped up, looking at the time to see it was 5:00 P.M. She ran to the kitchen, and began to make stew for supper. As they ate, the Weapons and Meisters worried that Tsubaki's evil stepmother would find out that the girl was still alive, and since the wicked Queen Medusa was actually a witch with powers, might come and hunt Tsubaki down herself. The next morning, before leaving for another mission, they warned Tsubaki not to open the door for strangers."

"Yeah, no duh! That's how you die from murderers and robbers and psychopaths and… uh… murderers!" Patti replied. _Dang it. _Liz cursed silently. _And there I was thinking she was actually going to shut up for the rest of the story! _

"Be quiet, I'm trying to tell the story!" She snapped back. Patti raised her hands defensively.

"Anyways. Back at the castle, Queen Medusa asked her mirror who fairest of them all was, smiling as she waited for the mirror to reply that it was she. But alas, the mirror couldn't lie, and it replied,_ my queen, you are fair, it's true, but Tsubaki is still fairer than you._ The queen was outraged to learn that princess Tsubaki was still alive and decided kill the girl herself. She disguised herself as an old woman and went into the forest. Upon finding the mansion, she smiled a wicked smile. Queen Medusa knocked on the door, pleased when Tsubaki answered.

'Why hello there pretty maid.' The queen said. 'Would you care to buy an apple, fresh picked from my tree?' Tsubaki smiled. Giving the Queen some coins she took the apple. 'Try it, dear, make sure it tastes alright.' The queen snickered as the princess raised it to her lips. She took a bite-"

"No sis, you've got it wrong!" Patti exclaimed. "That's not what happens! Tsubaki doesn't eat it. She remembers what the Weapons and Meisters told her just in time, and noticing the wicked gleam in the lady's eyes, she realized it was the evil Queen Medusa. Tsubaki throws the apple in the witch's face, and using her assassin skills, she takes the Queen down. Then she lived happily ever after with the Weapons and Meisters in their mansion. The End." Liz sighed, giving up.

"Yep. That's exactly how it ends. What a story." Liz said, sarcastically. But the kindergartners cheered happily, clapping and shrieking and laughing and joking around. Patti grinned like a maniac.

"Well sis, it looks like your remedial lessons are over. Come on; let's go find Kid. Last time I saw him he was wailing because the door didn't look symmetrical enough to him." She said, taking her hand and pulling her out the door. Liz smiled to herself, thinking-

_I have the best little sister EVER, don't I? _She asked herself. _Random, a little bit of an airhead, but awesome all the same._


End file.
